Yesterday, Ella asked if her best friend could spend the night on Friday. I said yes. Today they’re not friends anymore.
Agatha’s now best friends with the girl and wants to have a slumber party on Friday.
Ella may kill her.
In other news, my heather’s blooming, my currant bush is so full of blooms it’s almost unbelievable, and I finally decided I like my Nanking. I love spring in Alberta!
Today our kiddos jumped through the sprinkler, and Brom tried out his bike. It’s been such a battle to get him to try it. We finally agreed to let him ride with his helmet off just so he’d get on, it’s not like he’s likely to get hurt right now. We hope.
We may have needed to also bribe him with coffee. 😉 Though he did have fun and tried again later! Yay!
Yesterday I ended up yelling, and lecturing the girls. It doesn’t really matter why I was upset. What matters is the moment happened and I needed to fix it and then move on.
The first step was saying, “Stop! I’m making a mistake here and want to try again.” Then I apologized, clearly stating what I thought I was doing wrong and what I wanted to do differently, as well as asking for their feedback as to what they needed to feel better about our relationship.
It helped. By the time we were done talking they were comfortable again. Children are so resilient. The problem is that they’ve had some pretty big stressors in their life the past couple years and every time Ryan or I make a mistake and yell, lecture, or otherwise behave poorly toward our children, it really affects them extra hard and takes longer to recover. Today Agatha’s moods turned angry and sad more frequently than they have in the past week. I’m sure last night played a huge part in today’s moods.
No event in life ever stands alone.
Today can come back next week to create tension. But if we talk about it and really find meaningful resolution for everyone, then it’s less likely to be an issue down the road.